This is not all true in group childcare. The center looks out for what is best for the GROUP of Keep On Keepin On Awesome shirt. There is just not enough staff in group care to individualize each families wants. They have to choose what is best for every child involved and having each child on a different nap schedule is just not what is best for the group in childcare. Teachers need breaks and time to clean and catch up on paperwork. If you want individualized care then you need to pay more money for a nanny in your home that only has your only child’s needs to worry about.
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I don’t see why she can’t put him down for a nap when you request it. I’ve Keep On Keepin On Awesome shirt in multiple daycares (specifically infant & toddler rooms). I always just let the babies sleep when they needed it- I also never had a parent request me to put them down at a certain time, but I just followed their sleepy cues. In terms of toddler rooms and older, they have a designated nap time your son will have to follow. I’d speak with the daycare director about what the guidelines are for that classroom.